Why yes, Madam, you have taken 1 and 1/2 inches from your bust, October 25, 2008

I seem to be melting away in India but Global Warming is unwelcome in certain parts of my body.

Yesterday while raising into updog I had a flash...I could buy a saree and have it made into a dress for the Melbourne Cup party I’ll be attending less than 24 hours after arriving in Sydney. No slow transition for me! I called my tailor, Nissar, and asked him if it was possible to convert a saree into a cocktail dress in less than a week. “Yes, Madam, possible.” So after breakfast at Alia’s off I went to Badsha’s to saree shop. I took Jocelyn with me for another opinion and we had a great time as, true to Badsha’s tradition they pulled every saree off their shelves that remotely fit the description of what I was looking for. I narrowed it down to 6 by the time Nissar arrived.

He showed me pictures of other dresses he’d done and I narrowed that down to a choice of two. Coincidentally both were made by Cathryn, the previous inhabitant of the apartment I currently live in. He and I discussed how the various sarees could work with these two patterns and I decided on the one that was my first choice anyway. It’s electric blue with a bit of a pattern through the material. The bit that is meant to go over the shoulder, which is always the most decorative part of the saree, is blue and green with gold sparkly bits running through it. It will be transformed into a strapless A line, fairly tight fitting and flared at the bottom. I think it will be gorgeous! Now I just need gold shoes (he’s making a matching bag).

After the myriad of measurements I tentatively asked him if my measurements had changed between now and July, when he made my other clothes. After consulting his book he said, “Why yes, Madam, you have taken 1 and 1/2 inches from your bust.” NOT the news I was looking for. The good news is though that, since I’ve been in India, I’ve also lost 1 1/2 inches from hips and tummy and even 1/2 from those pesky thighs! This, despite the fact that I regularly eat 3 pieces of Bruno’s french toast or two big pieces of Santosha’s home made bread every morning. We won’t even talk about the frequent gelato trips or the once weekly hot fudge sundae from the Corner House that I enjoy.

My time is definitely coming to a close though. I have shipped presents to friends and started sorting through my own stuff (what to take with me, what to ship (a lot!) and what to leave here in a trunk for my next trip back.

Last night was my last Kirtan at Auntie Ji’s (an aging music teacher that is house bound but really enjoys the yoga students coming to her). I cried. Partially because it hit me that I’m really leaving India after 4 months and partly because Mike was singing a chant to the Mother that he’d written and it’s just beautiful!



We were lucky enough to have Richard on the violin (he’s excellent and the sweet, sad sound adds so much to Kirtan) and of course, Ganesh on the Tablas.





The rest of the past week has really been spent resting (not much pool time though as we seem to be having a second monsoon season) shopping for last minute items and saying goodbye to others who have left. Ken and Maev to Goa, Christian to New Zealand and others I was less close to for other parts of the world. Goodbyes are not as sad though here, there’s a definite feeling that we’ll see each other again. The sad goodbye will be when my plane takes off from Bangalore and I leave India, the country that, for all its foibles, has a firm grip on my heart.

Narasimhan, Diksha, Rolfing, Death Pujas and a Magical Night at the Palace, October 5, 2008

It’s been so long since I’ve updated my blog. I made myself take a week off from doing anything constructive. Narasimhan (more on he and his sister Jayashree later) has stopped teaching for a few months and I consciously decided to stop going to chanting with Jayashree who is only doing one more week before she quits to get ready for their trip. I start an introductory Ayurveda class with Dr. Kumar next week so this week was perfect for a “vacation”.

I wanted to see what doing nothing for a week felt like. No studying, no reading anything heavy or deep, no blogging, no planning for my future. Just being, no doing. Wow! What an experience.

I’ve had a lot of time at the pool and more time in my head. I’ve had a lot of great conversations with people I care about and have made some amazing friends. I’ve been rolfed, I’ve been diksha’d and I’ve watched a man bury a loved one. I’ve touched and been touched by some amazing souls.

I also feel like I’m almost ready to leave the cocoon that is Gokulam. My cocoon. It’s protected me and given me opportunity to transform from my old form to what I’m about to become. A friend told me last night that he saw an inner strength in me that I’m just now realising and that inner strength is the secret to my beauty, my sexuality and the core of the woman I’m about to become. I thought that was an incredible thing to see and more of one to say.

I’m surprisingly lost for words more than that so I’ll let my pictures from the week speak for themselves.


I took Narasimhan’s last philosophy course a week ago Thursday. One of the greatest things about this experience (Mysore) is my philosophy teacher Narasimhan. He's a real yogi. He shared with me that his family really kind of pushed him into it when he came of age because they thought he had the disposition for it and it's believed that one true yogi in the family will attain liberation for past and future generations of the family for 5,000 years!!!He's had some amazing experiences. He lived with Maharishi Mahesh Yogi for 12 years (after the Beatles and before he got famous). He learned Transcendental Meditation and now teaches that (which is what I'm doing). He's also spent time with some of the holy men in the Himalayas and has some freaking weird stories about that!

I've learned so much from him and gained so much from him. Sharath is my teacher for Asana practice, but Narasimhan is my guru.


He's one of the gentlest souls I've ever met and a true delight. He also knows a tonne! Not only about Eastern philosophy but about Western as well.

His sister Jayashree is a sandskrit scholar and a wonderful woman herself. She's gifted with an amazing voice and I truly enjoyed chanting the Gita with her.


And Jayashree recently had a grandson. Her daughter and grandson are living with the extended family (16 under one roof) for 3 months. They have this incredible cradle set up in the main room of the house.



Sunday night (before moon day) gave us the best Kirtan of my stay here. The crowd was smallish but such powerful voices!!!!






On Wednesday I went to my first Diksha or blessing from the Oneness movement. One of the recent arrivals to town is Ken, a rolfer. He’s been here quite a bit and I’ve really enjoyed getting to know him. He asked me along with several others to go with him to the diksha. What’s wierd about this is that it’s the same as Tony’s new “Oneness University”. Sergio and Marina did it years ago and were trained to give the blessing. I’ve never trusted the blessing givers in the TR environment but I totally trusted them and it felt right to have my first blessing in it’s natural environment of Mother India. I will do Oneness now. I looked into doing it here before I leave but there are no English courses before my visa expires.

Wednesday was also the day that we went to Sri Rangapatnam. See entire photoset. It’s an area by the river I’ve been going to with a number of different temples where they do pujas to their dead. It’s an amazing thing to watch. There is a Brahmin priest and usually another loved one that holds the person “burying” their dead while they totally submerge in the water. Then they do the puja and throw the clay pot containing their loved one’s ashes and bones over the back of their heads. It’s totally moving and a bit surreal since this is the same river that people bathe and wash their clothes in. It was quite a procession. We ended up with 12 (it started with Matt, Christian and myself).








I was rolfed by Ken on Thursday. Someone described rolfing as restringing a guitar. It’s deep tissue work that concentrates on the soft tissue of the body. I’ve had a couple of weeks of very difficult practices where I’ve been stiff and sore. I’ve actually felt like I’ve been practicing with someone else’s body. My practice on Friday after the rolfing session was almost back to normal. It felt great!

Last night I had one of those magical nights that come along oh so rarely. I went with a friend to the Mysore Palace to see the lights and some of the entertainment. It's Dasara, a 10 day festival celebrating the triumph of good over evil. It was a beautiful night. The air was warm, the palace exquisite, the entertainment stunning and the conversation grand. We talked on such a heartfelt (really soul felt) level. It was real, honest and breathtakingly refreshing. He saw parts of me that I’ve only really started to see myself and opened up the door to restored confidence that I so badly need.






So, my week over I begin preparing for the last few weeks of my stay. I have 4 weeks left but it still doesn’t seem enough. I get weepy when I think about it, but I want to leave wanting more. I’ll be back that much is certain. There’s a lot I want to do in these last 4 weeks, but more importantly there’s more I want to be.

Magic Afternoon, Saturday September 6, 2008

You know those afternoons or evenings that are just magical? You go to a restaurant and the food is good, the ambiance good and the company and conversation superb? I had one of those experiences today. I met Sarah (my new friend from Sydney) at the palace and took a tour. She didn’t know where Rashinkar’s was so I took her there so she could go mat shopping. I bought one myself (a Mysore rug) which I had embroidered with my name. It cost all of $9.

Afterwards we met Stuart (also from Oz) at the Metropole. I’d never been there for their lunch buffet and had heard great things about it. I wasn’t disappointed. I thought the food was superb!

But better than the food was the company. Sarah and Stuart had met only briefly but Sarah wanted to reconnect with Stuart so I set this lunch up to do so. I’ve gotten to know both of them within the last week or so but it seems like I’ve known them both for a lifetime. And it was one of those conversations that went deep, really deep really fast.

It’s such a pleasure to get to that level with people. Without all the bullshit. Just real feelings, real emotions.

All of us are on the same page. All of us want to deepen our spiritual practices, to actually find a guru (or teacher) that we can learn from and all of us are going to be making some changes when we get back home. We are all worried about being able to keep up what we are learning and fining most valuable in India. We’ve agreed to be a support network for each other.

It was time very well spent.

August 15, 2008

I haven’t written in awhile because I’ve been sick. I started having a really bad asthma attach last week sometime. I should have done something about it but didn’t. It got really bad on Sunday and Monday’s practice was horrible. I had to take 3 - 4 breaths between each pose. I tried to skip drop backs but as I was going into forward bend I heard Sharath say, “You! Get up” There was no doubt which “you” he was talking about. It was okay, but Monday and Tuesday I could barely breath. I didn’t go to practice at all Tuesday or Wednesday and I finally broke down and had Joseph get me a corticosteroid inhaler. That immediately cleared my lungs up...and 5 minutes later I started to sneeze. I got a really bad cold.

I started my Transcendental Meditation class with Narasimhan on Monday and got my mantra. How exciting!!! I’ve been given a mantra by a real Indian guru. I’ve been practicing all week long and I have to say it’s the best meditation I’ve ever done. It’s easy to keep the mantra in mind and the meditation style itself is dead easy. I love it.

Narasimhan is so knowledgeable and such a sweet soul. We actually practice in his bedroom. Full of storage boxes, books, papers, etc. He lives like and absent minded professor. Gotta love it. Authentic India complete with monkeys in the trees outside.

I had to stop on Wednesday though. I’ll pick it up next week in the morning.

I started to feel better yesterday so I went with Hernan (his last day was yesterday) and Christian to Das Prakash Hotel for lunch (the biggest tali I’ve ever had!) and to Vinay’s yogic supplies for Hernan to check out some gear for Purple Valley. Were were going to to by the old shala, but couldn’t explain what we wanted to the rickshaw driver. Another time.

Pics below: Christian and Hernan at lunch and random street pictures driving around Laxmipuram.





I made my first attempt at making halva from Jude’s recipe for Christian and Eva last night. It turned out great! What’s not to like though, ghee, sugar (jaggery actually which is much better for you than sugar, sultanas and spices). We had that and a big fruit salad. No practice for me as I’m on “ladies holiday” so I stayed up late!

Today is India Day so everyone is off work. Big shopping day though, of course. I’m steering clear. One of Christian and Eva’s flat mates is from Mexico and made an awesome Mexican mean. Home made corn tortillas, guacamole, salsa and refried beans. Sooo good. Tasted like home. Wherever that is. That distinction is becoming less and less clear these days.

We go to Bylakuppe (Tibetan settlement) tomorrow which should be fun and interesting. Stay tuned for more pictures.

Met some really cool people at breakfast this AM at Santosha. I’ve spoken to Lisa before. She studies with Dr. Kumar and lives in Tucson. She’s a yoga teacher and Ayurvedic practitioner. There was a couple she knows from Tucson now living in NY. She’s a lawyer and he’s a chef. Both Vegan. Started talking to them about Veganism. I got so emotional chatting with them I almost started to cry. I still feel like crying. I’m not sure what that’s about.

Chamundi Hill through August 4, 2008

Not too much to report. We’ve got a new house mate, Julian. Originally from Montreal but now is in DC working for the IMF. He’s got a PhD from Berkley. A real slacker! :)

The day he arrived (at 3AM) was the day the outgoing Ida, who found a beautiful and much cheaper place right be the shala, and I decided to climb Chamundi Hill.



Click here for more pics. We walked up in silence as pilgrims are meant to do. I think we were the only ones in silence. Everyone’s cell phone seemed to be blasting an FM radio station with Bollywood music. Julian decided to join us to keep awake. Pretty hard core as it’s about 1,000 feet elevation gain. And it was hot. Felt good to do some aerobic exercise though. My calves are still feeling it. The only part of my body not worked by my Ashtanga practice.

Luckily I knew what to expect. The place was a dump with tonnes of monkeys running around. The temple was exceptionally crowded as it was the day of the eclipse. They take this stuff very seriously. We were all advised not to travel or eat during the eclipse as there were “much poisons in air”. Of course a lot of us did and by God, I don’t know if it’s the power of suggestion or what but a lot of us also got sick, including me. For about 24 hours afterward I was really fluey.

As a result I had the most horrible practice of my life on Sunday. I dragged myself through it and couldn’t even go into backbend. I got so nauseous I came back down. I think Sharath knew I wasn’t feeling well because he just left me alone. Monday’s practice was much better. My drop back rocked! Best I’ve done yet. Today’s practice rocked. I’m up to 5 backbends. According to Sean my chiro, the first three are for warm up and the last 2 really open up your chest and shoulders. It seems to work. No compression in my low back, now I’m feeling it in my mid back. Today’s practice was awesome. Nice, even breath and I was able to get really deep. Drop back sucked though. First one by Saraswati in awhile and I think I was nervous. Still can’t do shoulder stand to save my life. Simmi was next to me during finishing poses and the dear, sweet woman she is offered to help me. Tomorrow is her and David’s last day. It’s sad, I haven’t gotten to know them well, but they are both so beautiful, inside and out. Can’t wait to visit their shala in Adelaide.

They days seems to flow one into another. Practice, sutras or chanting class, followed by pool


or reading with the occasional hanging out at the coconut stand.
Have started cooking myself lunch on non pool days and I’m really enjoying seeing what I can create. Yesterday it was tofu stir fry with Okra (ladyfingers is what they call it) and tomato. The day before it was a wonderful concoction of kohlrabi, sliced tomato and avocados (which are beautiful here!) with a bit of lime and salt sprinkled over it. I love eating simply and my routine seems to be working.

Breaking news! I’ve found what looks to be a really good source of protein powder with added herbs. All natural and highly filtered whey powder, so I’m less concerned about a protein deficiency.

Tomorrow I may hitch a ride with someone to Jayashree’s brothers downtown for chanting class.

Anyway, that’s all the news that is news in Gokulam.

July 29, 2008

Haven't written a lot because I've really gotten into a nice routine and haven't had much to say. We are going sightseeing on Friday so stay tuned for more pics.

Thought I’d be pretty melancholy today with Jude and Peter gone but it was a really nice day. I had one of the best practices I’ve ever had. It felt like all of my joints were lubricated with oil, they all moved so nicely. I almost bound in Supta Kurmasana thanks to Jude’s coaching before I left. Got all the way through Ghaba Pindasana to put my chin on my hands and rolled all the way around. Back bends were amazing! I used Dena’s backbending method to roll up my vertebrae one at a time and was able to really get height. No compression in my low back at all. Sharath dropped me back and gave me coaching on my breathing during drop backs. No pain! Woo hoo!!!! Didn’t get up in headstand very much at all. I went all the way over yesterday and rolled over my hand. It’s still a bit painful so I was a bit timid today.

Breakfast at Alia’s with Ida, now my only housemate, followed by Sutra’s class (really getting interesting now) and then went to the stand up dosa bar for some dosas with Basia. She wanted me to go with her so she wasn’t the only westerner there (tall and blonde as well...she definitely stands out!) Lunch at Anu’s after doing some sutra reading and then met Christian and Eva (both Aussies but until recently Yoga Academy teacher trainees in Auckland). They arrived on Saturday and are settling in.

We spent the afternoon at the house chatting and them checking email, etc. A quick round of the neighborhood shops to check out different clothing options and then they accompanied me to register for my second month at the shala. Guruji was there in the office. I don't think it was one of his best days. I said hello and he looked at me as if he were trying to place me. It was still nice to see him though. Sharath moved me up to a 6AM start time. I’m happy about that. It will give me a bit more time in the morning.

Now that Peter and Jude are gone I want to get into a bit of a different routine where I spend more time reading and meditating. Really working on my inner journey. Nothing to distract me. Well, almost nothing. No one warned me that practicing at this level made your hormones go crazy!!!! Unfortunately no interesting, unattached men in sight. Oh well, that would just make me crazy anyway. I keep having to remind myself...this is a spiritual journey! :)

A fond Farewell, July 28, 2008

It's with great sadness that I said goodbye to Peter and Jude today. Having them here for the last month has been such a blessing. Not only have they "shown me the ropes" in Mysore but my friendship with both has deepened. I have rarely had friends as loving and giving as the two of them.

Thanks guys for the laughter, the stories, the sharing, the great conversations, the evening fruit salad ritual, pongol, halva and, of course, Jude's wonderful chai. Knowing you has enriched my heart and soul and I'll miss you greatly. Not only here but seeing you regularly in Auckland.