I’ve left Mysore. It hasn’t really hit me yet, or maybe I’m just so tired. I haven’t gotten a lot of sleep over the last two nights with the fireworks and over-stimulation from getting ready to leave.
Nice last day. Very long, leisurely breakfast at Alias. Several people turned up to see me off.
Then a day of pampering (manicure, pedicure, etc) before a few last minute errands, lunch at Tinas (palak rotis...mmmmm) and a 4:30 car to the airport. It took 4 hours to drive here and I absorbed the last of India. The chaotic traffic, the families of 4 on scooters. That distinctive smell of burning something and the ever present pollution (worse as we neared Bangalore.) Then the airport. I feel like I’ve entered another world. It’s brand new and very, very modern. It’s clean with great western toilets with toilet paper and no bin...do you actually flush the paper? What a concept! I’m not the only westerner here. Not by a long shot.
It’s funny, in Mysore the only westerners tend to be yoga students. If you go into the city you may not see a westerner during the entire trip, depending on where you are. I’ve gotten used to standing out in a crowd. I’ve also, apparently gotten used to seeing nothing but beautiful people in terms of westerners (mostly young with great yoga bodies). Here westerners come in all sizes and it’s kind of freaking me out. I feel very disoriented actually. My mind is starting to go crazy as well with a lot of fear as I get ready to enter the real world and to pick up my life. My very disjointed life at the moment with a new country, new job, no permanent place to live at the moment and new friends to make. It will all be fine, but in my current state I am focusing on the negative. I’m very grateful that I have the tools though to calm the chitta vrittis and to realise that that’s just where I am right now...this too shall pass.
My practice today was absolutely awesome. The best ever and that’s no exaggeration. I was not at all stiff. I really flowed. I worked so deeply into my hips during the sitting poses. I bound fully and deeply in Supta Kurmasana and crossed my ankles over my head and then I got back up and balanced on my hands without having to come out of it. I touched the floor with my palms facing out during Prasarita C. But the best news is that I dropped back by myself. Only once and with a lot of coaching from Sharath but I did it! I was waiting to be dropped back. Sharath was dropping Jen back who was right next to me so I didn’t even think I’d have the chance to practice, but he was taking awhile so I started to go back. He started saying, “more back bending, bend your neck” over and over again. Then he went to the person in back of me. I had come up and decided to go back down. He said the same and then I got to the critical point he said, “now straight arms”. I did and bump! I hit the floor...with my hands and not my head. In the end it seemed effortless. It was amazing. Then he tried to get me to come up. That wasn’t happening. Neither was the second drop back. I was shaking and crying in relief and disbelief and completely oblivious when Saraswati actually did drop me back. She smiled though and said, “good day!”. I said, “It’s a Mysore miracle.” I cried through the finishing poses. Bawled actually. It was so bitter sweet. I love this practice!
This practice changes you. It just does. You can’t practice this regularly and this intensely and continue to define yourself in the same way. I’ve realised very intensely over the last few months how I’ve defined myself as a weak person. Not physically, mentally or emotionally strong. But you can’t do this practice if you’re weak. That adjective just doesn’t describe me anymore. In any way.
If you’re lucky, not only with the practice in Mysore redefine you, so will the people. I’ve been lucky. I’ve made several soul connections. Some I know I’ll stay in touch with the rest of my life. Some were only meant to be fleeting connections. Brief in duration but not less important. I’ve changed lives and mine has certainly been changed.
I know over the coming days, weeks and months I’ll start to define and redefine this experience. I know I’ll parse it over in my mind and categorise it. I know I’ll lose some of what I’m feeling now and that I’ll carry much of it with me forever.
I know for sure that Mysore has changed me. The place, the practice and the people and for that I’ll be eternally grateful.
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