Thinking about re-entry, October 14, 2008

I’ve started to think about re-entry. I’m almost 2 weeks away from the inevitable; leaving Mysore and starting my new life in Sydney. Today was the first day I got really excited. I arranged for my boxes to be delivered to my serviced apartment and started thinking about real clothes! Tops with spaghetti straps that I can wear with abandon on the street and not get leered at. Shorts. More than one pair of shoes!!!! (I’ve worn the same pair every day for 4 months). I don’t remember what I packed in those six “I need them immediately” boxes but I know it will feel like Christmas when I open them.

I land at 1:00 Monday afternoon and less than 24 hours later I’m at a Melbourne Cup party with an entire office full of people I’ve yet to meet. Needless to say I’ve made a hair appointment for Tuesday morning (no small feat on Cup day). When the guy at the salon asked what I needed I said, “well, I’ve been in India for 4 months...” he cut me off and said, “Oh so you need a lot then!” I guess I do. Luckily my blonde highlights have done a fairly effective job hiding the grey roots.

What started to get me excited about re-entering my life was lunch yesterday. I met with a really interesting couple. She’s American and he’s Swedish. They do strategic consulting for companies and top executives with a spiritual component. It’s exactly what I want to eventually do. I decided that it’s time to start the next phase of my life that will lead me there. I hope to keep in touch with these two.

But even with my excitement I worry about how I’m going to integrate everything I’ve learned and absorbed here into the real world. Can I keep up a 6 day / week practice? What about my pranayama and meditation? How do I balance it all? How do I keep this sense of calm and peace that I now walk around with and not get pulled into the daily stresses of western life? I guess the answer to that lies in the continuation of the practices above.

Four months here has taught me so much. One of the biggest things that it’s taught me is that I’m not ready to be an ascetic. I need to live in the world and to live in it with passion!!!!

So, in a few weeks I will start a new job in a new city / country, start making new friends and finally, a year after I left my husband and had another very significant relationship blow up, I will start to date again! God, what will that be like? I’m very excited about that prospect!!! I’ve taken a couple of chances in that arena recently and it’s given me resolve to do things differently, thanks to a very cute, younger man with great hair! Hmmm, maybe that’s material for another blog. A woman in her mid / late 40’s who feels like she’s in her early 30’s starting to date again after 10 years. Watch this space.

In a few weeks I’ll also be able to use a washing machine, drink tap water (not that I do but it's nice to have the option) and look random people in the eye and smile. I’ll get to dress like I please and ask a simple question and be able to get a straight answer.

There a few things I won’t be doing as though. I won’t be choking from pollution when I drive around town. I won’t be dodging cows, cow shit and men peeing in the streets. I won’t have to glue my envelopes shut with rubber cement at the post office and I won’t have to stand in a queue to get a rubber stamp which allows me to stand in another queue.

Even though I’ll miss a lot; the intensity of the practice, the amazing people I’ve met, the looonnnggg breakfasts (especially over Bruno’s french toast), the lazy days, the best body work (massage, chiropractic and rolfing) I’ve ever had (makes SUCH a difference being worked on by Ashtangi’s), the intense spirituality and some of the best conversations of my life, I think I’m ready.

But, that’s in a couple of weeks. Until then there’s Ken’s anatomy class, more body work, more shopping, an astrology reading, a past life regression, a henna party, more trips to the river, more long breakfasts and amazing conversations, more...well more India. Again, watch this space.